The Forgiveness Technique

by Reiki Master Teacher Diana Henderson
copyright 2003

The Forgiveness Technique was first presented to Unity Church of Cary in Spring 2003.

Meditation to Bring Forgiveness of Self and Others © 2003 L. Diana Henderson

I daresay we’ve all had events in our lives that scarred us in some way. We’ve experienced situations that we found difficult to forgive—either to forgive ourselves or to forgive others and often both.

Take a few moments now to think back to such a situation in your own life. It can be some small (or large) thing that happened within the last week or month or year, or it can be something from childhood or adolescence that has haunted you for many years. Sometimes the big, deep-seated issues require more work, but the technique you’re going to perform can be used to resolve any issue that needs forgiveness. Note: For this first time, please choose an issue that involves only one other person in addition to yourself. This will make it easier to do the technique with everyone later.

Before you begin, I want to share with you how I was given this technique. A few years ago, something triggered a memory of an encounter that I needed to forgive. The incident in question took place over 25 years past, and truthfully I hadn’t thought about it in countless years. I can’t tell you what the trigger for this old memory was because I can’t recall. The trigger wasn’t important. What followed was.

One night I suddenly recalled in full, vivid detail a hurtful encounter I had with someone when I was in my early 20s. At that time, I was emerging from a dark and difficult period in my life. A man—a sort of indirect colleague of my father’s who hardly knew me—cornered me alone in an elevator and proceeded to berate me in very cruel terms. This person wasn’t close to me at all. As I said, he hardly knew me; so I felt as if some stranger were verbally assaulting me without provocation. I recall feeling extremely hurt and then becoming angry, embarrassed and completely taken off guard to the extent that I lost the ability to speak up for myself or answer this man in any way. Later I thought of many things I could have said, but at the time his words and the anger with which he flung them at me left me speechless and in tears.

When this memory suddenly surfaced, I felt all those feelings again just as I did when the incident occurred. Then I heard a voice within me say, “It’s time to forgive.” I don’t mind telling you my first reaction was, “I don’t think I can do that.” In that moment I felt just as hurt and angry as I did when cornered by this man in the elevator 25 years earlier—and, as much as I was furious with him, I was also upset with myself for not defending myself—as I had failed to do so a lot of other times in my life. So I literally said to the Divine, “If you want me to forgive this, you’re going to have to show me how!”

The word “show” is significant, because that’s exactly what happened. You could call what occurred next a vision. I like to call it a living memory. In essence the Divine transported my psyche back to that moment in full Technicolor, surround sound, live action mode! But instead of being just myself, I felt as if I were both myself and the other person. So here’s how I was led to forgiveness....

If you have read What Tom Sawyer Learned from Dying, you know what a life review is. Basically, it’s similar to what people refer to as your life “passing before your eyes,” but it packs a much more powerful punch. We experience from the perspective of anyone involved in each situation what transpired in our lives.

What Spirit did for me that day was give me a brief review of this man’s life. I experienced his life—all its difficulties and rejections and his feelings of being less than others—and I understood with complete clarity what led this man to say what he did to me that day. I felt absolute compassion for him and deep understanding.

As this happened, I also experienced forgiveness of myself, because that level of compassion and “knowing” extends to everyone in such moments of unconditional love and understanding. The Divine gave me the same perfect appreciation and comprehension of the young woman I was and why I was unable to defend against this onslaught on that day.

I loved us both—both these beautiful souls standing in that elevator all those years earlier. And then the thing I most needed—to speak up for myself—happened in the best possible way.... In that moment, I reached out to this man, touched his face with my palm and said, “I understand. I love you completely and I forgive you completely. Someday you’ll understand too. But for now just know that everything is exactly as it is meant to be.” I embraced him with love and embodied love for myself and all others in that moment. Then I returned to the present, knowing forgiveness as I’d never known it. I felt truly blessed, and my belief is that wherever that man was at the time he felt it too.

Afterward, I realized that one reason I’d encountered that incident 25 years earlier was precisely so I could experience forgiveness in this exact way. Since then I’ve felt called by the Divine to share this technique with others. So you are invited to try this method if you wish. The effect that comes from complete forgiveness is that your entire being—physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually—can be cleared of the issues, energies and detritus related to the incident at hand.

First, take the time to consider and write down what you need to resolve and forgive. Once you've prepared sufficiently, you may begin....

Meditation:
Close your eyes and take three deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. On the exhale, allow yourself to release a big sigh.

Now, begin to recall again the situation you thought of a few minutes ago, the one that needs resolution and forgiveness. Remember as much about the other person involved as possible. Bring to mind what each of you were wearing, your environment or setting and any other details that will help evoke this scene as a living memory. Recall what was said and done to produce feelings of hurt or anger within you. If you can’t remember everything exactly, that’s okay. Just recall as best you can.

Get in touch with your body now. Where does this anger or hurt lie within your body? Ask the Divine to go to that place and bring healing.

Call upon the Divine to guide this experience to your highest good. You can address the Divine in whatever way resonates with your beliefs: “Dear God, today, on the _______________________ (date including year, e.g., 12th of May), at _______________________ (location) in the _____________ (time: afternoon, evening, etc.), I call upon you to guide and assist me in opening to forgiveness and resolution within my heart, body, mind and spirit of whatever situation I now hold within my memory. I seek forgiveness for myself and all others as well as understanding and compassion. I call upon You to assist me in reviewing this experience in my mind with your love and oneness as I open to the certainty of the perfection of this moment. So I pray and give thanks for these blessings of love...And so it is done in the name of God (use whatever resonates with your beliefs). Amen.

Now, take a few more deep, full breaths. As you continue to breathe deeply, imagine a beautiful bubble of blue protective energy and an emerald green healing light (or a rose pink bubble of Divine Love) around your body. These spheres of light are filled with Divine energy of pure love. With each inhale, you breathe in that healing light and love. Throughout this experience, you’re going to remain safe and loved within these beautiful bubbles—no matter what you may encounter from the past. At any time, you may breathe deeply to assist in bringing in more love and releasing any discord.

Now it’s time for you to go on a journey to the moment when you experienced feelings of hurt and anger that remain unresolved. Just let your conscious mind go. Your heart, your body, together with your subconscious remember that moment. Let yourself go there now. See it; feel it, hear it; experience it within the safety of your protective bubble.

Stand as an observer of those involved in this experience—both the other person and yourself. Imagine in this moment that you are one with the perfect Light and Love of God, and that in this oneness with the Divine you see this moment through Jesus' eyes (or Buddha or World Teacher/Ascended Master who resonates with your beliefs), with His heart of perfect compassion. In this moment call upon the Divine to allow you to experience the oneness with the other person involved in this situation. Know what that person knows; feel what he or she feels; experience that person’s life as it led to this moment. Allow it to play out in whatever way is most appropriate to bring understanding.

In silence allow this to unfold. Take as long as you need.

Look at yourself in that moment. Feel, see, sense and experience your own life review as the truth of who you were in that moment and why you chose that experience are revealed to you. Again, take your time.

Now unite in love and oneness with the Divine as you heal that moment in whatever way is necessary. Within your heart and mind, if you need to say something to the other person or to embrace them—whatever you feel led to do to acknowledge the perfection of this moment—allow that to happen on a deep level.

Love this moment of understanding and compassion. Inasmuch as you’re willing to clear this experience from your energy field, your body and your consciousness, clear it now through love, forgiveness and acceptance. Embrace its life lesson. Embrace the oneness of yourself and the other person and all existence. Embrace the Divine. Know that you were and will ever be exactly as you were meant to be in every moment of your life.

Now take another deep cleansing breath and bring your awareness back to the present time. With your intent and imagination, as the blue protective bubble continues to surround you, draw the emerald green (or rose pink) bubble filled with God’s love into your heart center to engulf your heart in love.

Give thanks for this blessing of forgiveness and acknowledge that this, as all experiences, are the lessons of a spiritual being living in human form. Bless the moment of pain and the moment of forgiveness and cherish both as teachers. Now take one more cleansing breath and come back into wakefulness. Then, whenever you’re ready you may open your eyes.

I believe that in using this technique or others that might be similar, we can move beyond forgiveness into acceptance of our lives and the lives of others and clear away old wounds as well as new ones that come into our lives. May we reach a level of understanding that will enable us to realize that each experience is a blessing that leads us closer to the Divine.

© copyright 2003 L. Diana Henderson (may NOT be reprinted without permission)
If you wish permission to use in a presentation or share with others, please contact Diana by clicking here.

The meditation experience I relate above was a gift from Spirit that I used in a talk to Unity Church of Cary in 2003. My interest in meditation spans over 30 years. I've been teaching and leading guided meditations since the mid-1990s and served as the Healing & Meditations board member for Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship for six years (2000-2006). I include meditation in healing sessions, in classes such as Reiki, Intuition, Crystals and DNA Activation Workshops. Meditation is an integral part of my daily life as well as my work, and I continue to reap countless benefits from its practice.

To receive more information about Reiki classes, private sessions or events, call 919-552-0524 or email by clicking here.

~ Diana Henderson, Reiki Master Teacher

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